Years ago, the Rev. Bill Roe and I discussed starting our own cult. Years later, I am realizing this wasn't such a half-crocked idea. However, it's not a cult I want to start. It's more of a religion (as an institution). Faith in something beyond us as a way of life. Something which, on a daily basis, realizes our shortcomings and acknowledges our failures, but as achievements not mess-ups. I figure it will be almost unitarian in its approach, but not so touchie-feelie. We won't worry about the afterlife, because we are already in it! We're dead, not dying. So, let's make the best of it! There's no need to get mopey and transgressive. Entropy should be enjoyed like a ticker tape parade.
I will establish some tenements, and get back to you. From this moment on, I will make myself available as a spiritual consouler (sic) to help you realize the benefit of even the worse things in your life. And, hopefully, get you to stop complaining about it all.
Of course, I will have to accept tax-free donations. The apocalypse isn't a courtesy in this global climate, you know. But, I am working on a goodie bag for those interested in my brand of salvation.
I highly suggest you keep your current belief system. I will function merely as an supplimental everyday prophet. I make no claims of holding the bejeweled keys to any pearly gate, any golden razor of ventilating self-abuse, or any waxy, flowered Dixie cupful of a sweet Kool-Aid starship outta this joint. However, I truly believe we can all make it a better day for ourselves by not focusing on others so much. No, not in a Satanic dragon ring wearing self-absorption. A little bit more carefree than that. But, not as much as a nudist commune of hedonism. It's all about balance and decay.
Please brush up on the writings of Rod McKuen. I am expecting some visons will direct us to his wordplay. Also, as balance, we will refer to the autobiography a Col. Harlan Sanders, finger lickin' good, on a continual basis.
Signs will follow, along with a catchy jingle.
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